a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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