sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
