he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
