Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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