I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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