AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
