I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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