Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
