i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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