This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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