Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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