Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
