Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
