Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
