This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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