no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
