Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
