Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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