I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
