Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
