Fuck appropriateness.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
