Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
