His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
