he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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