she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
