i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
