if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
