if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
