So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
