thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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