dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
