hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize