Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We had to coat check the pizza.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm sobbing to NWA
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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