All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
50% drunk capacity currently
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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