C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
