Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
