Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
