we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
