And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
