i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
