I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
