I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ugly people sure do ruin things
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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