Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
