I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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