My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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