Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
