Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
