She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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