hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
