If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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