Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
